


Peridot and Amethyst's Little Homeworld Dating Service

by DemyxDancer



Series: Professionals [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Little Homeworld, Multi, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Peridot Ships Everyone, Surprise Pairings No One Asked For
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22755895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemyxDancer/pseuds/DemyxDancer
Summary: It’s almost Date Night, a traditional human holiday celebrating romantic relationships. Peridot and Amethyst have decided to distract themselves from their own troubles by opening up a dating service for the Gems of Little Homeworld.Best case scenario? They help some Gems, get some juicy gossip, find a date for Amethyst, and fulfill Peridot’s shipping dreams. Worst case scenario? They both have to go into hiding on some remote colony. No pressure.
Relationships: Amethyst & Peridot (Steven Universe), Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe), Blue Zircon & Peridot (Steven Universe), Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Series: Professionals [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573660
Comments: 56
Kudos: 106





	Peridot and Amethyst's Little Homeworld Dating Service

**Author's Note:**

> This work uses the characters and setting of my larger fic _Professionals,_ but is not canon to that fic, nor does it require reading that fic. This is just a bit of silly Valentine's Day fluff.

“State your name and occupation.” Peridot was perched eagerly behind a desk. Instead of her tablet, she was using a thick pink notepad and an array of metallic gel pens drawn from her extensive collection of human stationary.

“Ruby, and, uh, I’m a Ruby.” The small red Gem on the other side of the desk had her gemstone right where her knee should be. Peridot always wondered how Gems like that could actually walk.

Amethyst nodded. “So what are your interests, Ruby?”

The Ruby was consumed with thought, as though she had been asked to provide a proof of the Riemann hypothesis. “Well… I like… Ruby stuff? Guarding things? Oh, and Earth comics! The ones with superheroes in them. I wish I could be a superhero like that one day!”

“Cool, cool,” said Amethyst. “So what’s your dream relationship?”

“I want a Sapphire,” said Ruby, bluntly.

Peridot and Amethyst looked at each other in surprise. “Why?” asked Peridot.

“Uh,  _ duh _ , so I can be like Garnet!” The Ruby spoke as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Garnet is so cool! She’s like a superhero, but also a Gem.” The Ruby’s eyes shone brightly. “I need to fuse with a Sapphire so I can be like Garnet!”

“Hmm,” said Peridot, looking down at her notebook. “Understandable, if a bit misguided. Thoughts?”

“Sapphires are kinda rare, Red,” Amethyst pointed out. “We’ve only got one of ‘em on Earth, and she’s  _ extremely _ taken. Are there any other kinds of Gems you might be interested in?”

“Are there any other kinds of Gems that would make me cool like Garnet?”

“You don’t know unless you try, right?” said Peridot.

“That’s right,” said Amethyst. “With the right combination, you might end up even cooler than Garnet.”

“Cooler than Garnet?” The Ruby looked very skeptical of this. “Really?”

“Well, it’s kind of a moot point since there aren’t any Sapphires here --” Peridot started.

Amethyst cut her off. “Garnet didn’t become cool by copying some other Gem. She became cool by doing her own thing, right?”

“I… guess…?”

“You wanna be cool like Garnet, you gotta do your own thing! Make some new fusion no one’s ever made before, just like she did. Right?”

Ruby nodded slowly. “Right. Right! That makes so much sense!”

“We just started up so we don’t have a lot of Gems on file right now, but we’ll let you know if we find a good one for ya, okay?”

“Okay!” The Ruby was practically bouncing with joy as she left the office. “I’ll be as cool as Garnet for sure!”

Peridot looked down at her notebook. “Don’t you think that’s overpromising, Ams?”

Amethyst shrugged. “Eh. It’s a free service. If they don’t like it, what are they gonna do?”

There was a loud but gentle knock on the door. “Come in!” called Peridot.

“Hey, Peri! Hey, Amethyst!” A broadly smiling Bismuth entered the office. “I saw your fliers around town and had to see what you guys were up to.”

“It’s a relationship advice and dating service!” Peridot flung her arms out wide, nearly smacking Amethyst in the face. “You know, because Date Night’s tomorrow.”

“We didn’t know what to do for Date Night, so we thought, instead of sitting around and moping about it, we’d help some other Gems with  _ their _ problems,” explained Amethyst.

Bismuth chuckled. “Sounds like a plan.” Her gaze swept across the lightly commandeered office, now decorated with paper hearts and gems. “Does Zircs know you’re using her office for this?”

“We needed an office.” Peridot shrugged. “She’s at Homeworld right now. What she doesn’t know won’t kill her.”

“That’s probably true.”

“So how about it, Bis?” asked Amethyst. “Wanna take our dating profile? Get a date for Date Night?”

“I’ve already got a date for Date Night.”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaat?” said Amethyst and Peridot together.

“C’mon, don’t look so surprised!” said Bismuth. “Lots of Gems want to get down to Bismuth.”

“Ugh, that’s a  _ terrible _ pun, Bis,” said Peridot. “Who is it, though? I have to know.”

“Yeah, Bis, who’s the lucky Gem?” Amethyst leaned over the desk eagerly.

“The lucky Gem is…” Bismuth leaned in close to her friends. “Someone a lot more discreet than you two.” She laughed. “I’d rather keep this quiet for now. No offense, but if I tell you guys, it’ll be all over Little Homeworld before I even get to go on my date.”

“Harsh, but fair,” said Amethyst.

Bismuth sat back down on the couch. “So what are you guys’ Date Night problems? The ones you’re avoiding by doing this?”

“Can’t tell you,” said Amethyst. “Our mission statement is to help  _ other _ Gems.”

“It’s just Lapis,” said Peridot, simultaneously.

Bismuth raised her eyebrows. “Something wrong between you and Lapis?”

“No, no! I just want to do something special for her for Date Night, and I don’t know what. Any ideas?”

“Peri, I think Lapis will love whatever you want to do for her.”

“Ugh, that is such a cop-out. You’re usually more helpful, Bis, what happened?”

“Sorry, I’m not a relationship advice expert like you two.” Bismuth laughed. “So Ams, what’s your deal?”

“I don’t have a deal,” said Amethyst, crossing her arms. “I just don’t have a date.”

“Oh, really?” said Bismuth. “I bet there’s a lot of Gems out there who’d be happy to have a fine cut like you.”

“Well, if there are, I don’t know about them,” said Amethyst, with irritation. “I’ve been so busy with Little Homeschool. I know every Gem in the city, but not all that well, I guess. I don’t know if any of them are into  _ me.” _

“That’s why we’re doing this! To find a date for Amethyst!” Peridot exclaimed gleefully.

“That is not why we’re doing this! Well… mostly.” Amethyst blushed.

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” asked Peridot.

The three Gems stood absolutely quiet for a moment and heard the softest knocking on the door. Bismuth opened it to reveal Blue Pearl. “Why, hello!”

“Is this the dating service I saw on the fliers?” she said, voice barely audible.

“Sure is! You’ve come to the right place! These two will help you get squared away.” Bismuth gently pushed Blue Pearl into the room before heading out the door herself. “Good luck with… everything! See you later!”

“Bye, Bis!” said Peridot. She sat up straighter, trying to look professional with her notebook and pens. “Please state your name and occupation.”

“Well… I’m a Pearl. I used to belong to Blue Diamond. Now I help teach art classes, and do… media outreach?”

“Yeah, and you’re great at it!” said Amethyst. “Seriously, you’ve improved at art so much. It kicks ass.”

Blue Pearl blushed, and her voice somehow became even softer. “That’s very kind of you to say.”

“So, what are your interests?” asked Amethyst.

“Well, I like to draw.”

The Gems behind the desk waited for her to finish, but after a moment it became apparent that this was all she had to say.

“Drawing! OK,” said Amethyst, writing it down. “What would you say is your ideal relationship?”

“Well…” Blue Pearl looked wistfully at nothing in particular. “Sometimes I think… it’s very silly.”

“No, no!” said Peridot. “This is about finding a good relationship for you. I’m sure whatever you want, it’s not too silly.”

Blue Pearl hesitated. “Well, if you say so. I’d really like… a big, strong Gem to sweep me off my feet and take me on an adventure!” Her smile was bright enough to power a small spaceship. “Somewhere where I could find new things to draw. Someone who would protect me from danger.” Her face returned to her more usual neutral expression. “Is that too much?”

Peridot had stars in her eyes. “That’s  _ so _ romantic. Amethyst, that’s so romantic! We have to help her!”

Amethyst laughed. “Yeah, P-dot, that’s what we’re here for.” She turned to Blue Pearl. “We just got started so we don’t have anyone like that in our files yet, but we’ll let you know as soon as we do.”

“Oh, thank you very much,” said Blue Pearl, politely.

* * *

“Name and occupation,” said Peridot.

“Oh, uh, I’m like, a Rose Quartz? And I was bubbled for a while, but now I’m not. It’s pretty wild. I guess I help out around the zoo. It’s like… whatever. You know?”

“I see,” said Peridot, writing it down. She turned to Amethyst, who was just kind of blankly staring at the Rose Quartz instead of asking the next question. She nudged her friend.

“Oh, uh… I didn’t know you guys were in town,” Amethyst said.

“Oh, yeah, some of the Amethysts have, like, girlfriends on Earth? That they wanted to be with for Date Night? So I guess we piloted the ship here. And I thought, how come I don’t have an Earth girlfriend? And then there was like… this flier. Like destiny.” She flashed a flirtatious smile at Amethyst. “How about it? Is it destiny?”

A clearly uncomfortable Amethyst stood up. “Nope! It is absolutely not destiny! Hey, listen, we’ve got a lot of clients, so we’ll let you know if we find anyone for you, okay?”

“Yeah, okay, that’s cool,” said the Rose Quartz.

“Ams, we didn’t ask the questions…”

“Don’t worry about it, Peri,” said Amethyst, waving at the Rose Quartz as she left. “See you later! Take care!”

“What was  _ that _ all about? I thought you wanted to know if someone was into you!” asked Peridot.

“She’s a Rose Quartz! She’s like my  _ mom. _ My mom… hitting on me.” Amethyst shuddered.

“Don’t be silly, Amethyst! Gems can’t have mothers. None of us are blood related! Otherwise… wait.” Peridot’s face scrunched up in thought. “If I helped create a Gem in the kindergarten, does that make me like their mom?”

“No offense, but I don’t think the world is ready for you to be a mom.”

“What? I’d be a great mom! I’m good at kindergartening, and growing plants, and I raised Pumpkin…!”

“Pumpkins aren’t kids! Kids have needs,” said Amethyst. “Like when Steven was a baby, he would cry all the time, for no reason.”

_ “Steven _ was a  _ baby?” _ Peridot had no idea how to process this information.

The startling revelation was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Come in!”

“Hi, Peridot!” said Connie. “Hi, Amethyst!”

“Hey, Connie!” said Amethyst.

“Good to see ya,” said Peridot. “Wait, hold on! You’re not here about a date, are you? Are you and Steven…?!”

“No!” said Connie. “I just feel like I need some advice. You are doing advice, right? I saw the fliers.”

“Of course!” said Amethyst. “Have a seat!”

“Thanks,” said Connie, settling onto the couch. “Wait… isn’t this Zircs’ office?”

“She’s letting us use it,” said Peridot.

“...huh,” said Connie, clearly skeptical. “Anyway, it’s about Date Night. I would really like to do something nice for Steven. You know how he’s…” She suddenly looked uncomfortable. “He’s been kind of having a rough time lately? And I know I haven’t been around that much, since I’ve been visiting colleges and all of that. I’d just like to see him be happy, just for one night! What do you think I should do?”

Peridot and Amethyst looked at each other. “Oh, no,” said Peridot. “I kind of thought we’d just be setting up dates for our own amusement. I wasn’t expecting an actual problem that requires a serious solution to come up!”

“We got this,” said Amethyst. “Look, Connie, Steven cares a lot about you. He’s gonna be happy with anything you do for him.”

“That’s the same unhelpful slag Bis was trying to push off on me!” said Peridot. 

“Do you have better advice? Because you still haven’t figured out what you’re doing for Lapis.”

“Well…,” said Peridot, thinking. It was important to get this right, for both Steven and Connie’s sakes. “What about… something you haven’t done together for a long time, that you wish you’d do more?”

“Oh, like… spending time jamming out on our instruments?” said Connie. “It’s been forever since we’ve done that.”

“Yeah, that’s perfect!” said Amethyst. “Just show up to the beach house with snacks and instruments. He’ll love it!”

“You really think so?” Connie grinned. 

Peridot and Amethyst nodded eagerly.

“That makes me feel a lot better,” said Connie. “I’ve been agonizing over this all week. Thanks, guys.”

“No problem!” said Amethyst. “You know you can come to us for advice any time.”

“Especially me! I’m full of good advice,” said Peridot.

Connie giggled. “Sure. Anyway, I better get going. I have to get to tennis practice. Good luck with your… business? Enterprise?”

“Yeah, good luck with your date!” said Amethyst, waving to her as she left. “So, P-dot. That was some pretty good advice you had for Connie. Why can’t you do that yourself?”

“Something I haven’t done with Lapis in a while?” said Peridot. “Yeah, I already thought of that, and there isn’t anything! We live together! We can do whatever we want together basically any time. How do you make things special?”

“Hmm, I guess that is kinda tough,” said Amethyst. “Have you thought --”

She was interrupted by the door opening without a knock first. Zircon took three steps into her office before realizing it was already occupied.

“Hi, Zircs!” said Peridot brightly. “You’re back from Homeworld!”

“I -- yes?” She looked confused and exhausted. She looked around the office and checked the paper sign on the door that had been taped over her own name. “Why have you turned my office into a, uh --”

“It’s a relationship counseling and dating service!” said Amethyst.

“Yes, I saw that on the sign,” said Zircon. “But why is it in my office?”

Amethyst shrugged. “Eh.”

“This is perfect!” Peridot said enthusiastically. “Now that you’re here, we can get you a date for Date Night!”

“Peri, we’ve been over this,” said Zircon, exasperated. “I absolutely do  _ not _ need a girlfriend.”

“Aww, why not?” said Amethyst.

“I am very busy,” said Zircon. “I simply do not have sufficient time to devote to a relationship.”

“No, see, this is  _ exactly _ why you need a girlfriend,” said Peridot. “To distract you from work! Like how cuddling with Lapis is super good for my stress levels.”

“Dot’s got a point,” said Amethyst. “You should just let us get you a date. What’s the worst that could happen? Your monocle falls out?”

Zircon looked at Peridot and Amethyst’s eager faces. “I’m not getting out of this, am I?”

“Nope!” 

Zircon groaned, then sat on her couch with an air of resignation. “Fine. Do your worst.”

Peridot flipped to a new page in her notebook and grabbed her favorite metallic silver pen. “Name and occupation?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, it’s the first question we ask. Name and occupation?”

“Peri, you’ve known me for  _ years.” _

“Name and occupation?”

Zircon made a flustered, helpless hand gesture. “Blue Zircon Facet-2F12 Cut-6GN, and I’m a defense attorney. Happy?”

“What are your interests?” asked Amethyst.

“Well, I’m interested in getting my office back…”

“Your  _ real  _ interests.”

“That is very much a real interest!” Zircon thought about it. “I’m interested in legal reforms, particularly the question of whether or not Kindergartens should be allowed to continue to operate, and the societal ramifications of --”

“Wow, that’s boring!” said Amethyst. “It’s a dating profile, not a job interview.”

“Whatever, I’ve got this,” said Peridot. “Put down that she likes  _ Crime and Justice: Special Vampire Unit, _ overcomplicated games, and arguing.”

Zircon looked like she was about to object, then thought better of it. “I… suppose.”

“Actually, yeah, that’s what you need.” Peridot leaned back in her chair, nearly accidentally flipping out of it. “You need a date you can argue with a bunch, let out some tension.”

“Ridiculous!” said Zircon. “That’s no basis for a healthy relationship.” Her face turned a darker shade of blue. “You don’t… know anyone like that, right?”

A smile was growing on Peridot’s face.

“Oh, no, what are you planning?” said Zircon, alarmed. “Amethyst, what is she planning?”

“Dunno, Z.” Amethyst shrugged.

Zircon slowly slid onto her side on the couch. “I’m doomed. Doomed to a humiliating blind date and a Gem I can never look in the eye ever again.”

“It won’t be bad!” said Peridot. “Promise! Besides, I owe you for you letting us use your office.”

“I didn’t agree to that!”

“Whatever, it’s only one day.” Peridot waved her hand dismissively. “And I can tell you if I learn any really juicy relationship gossip! _ ” _

Zircon crossed her arms. “Like what?”

“Like how Bis has a date!”

“She what?!” Zircon sat up. “That’s great! With who?”

“She wouldn’t tell us,” said Amethyst. “She was worried we’d tell everyone else.”

“Hm.” Zircon pulled out her phone and began typing. A moment later, she smiled in delight. “Oh, stars!”

“Wait, did she tell you?!” said Peridot.

“There are advantages to being able to keep a secret,” said Zircon, smug.

“I want to know!” Peridot used her powers to pull Zircon’s phone from her hands.

“Hey!” Zircon managed to snatch her phone from the air and quickly shove it in her gem. “What did I just say?”

Peridot looked up with big, sad eyes. “That you always tell me everything?”

“Ah, no.”

The Gems were startled by a sharp knock on the door. “I take it I’m about to get kicked out of my own office?” asked Zircon.

“If you really need a place to work, you can use my lair, since I’m not there,” said Peridot. 

“Fine.”

“Hey, while you’re there, if you see Lapis, can you figure out what she’d like for Date Night? Make sure you’re subtle when you ask her. Like… ‘if Peridot were to do something for you for Date Night, what would it be?’”

Zircon’s eye twitched. “Peri, do you actually know what ‘subtle’ means?”

“Nah, she doesn’t,” said Amethyst.

“I do too!” Peridot protested. “You just watch. I will subtle both your faces off!”

“Please don’t,” said Zircon.

* * *

“Name and occupation?” asked Peridot.

“Nephrite, Facet-413 Cabochon-12!” The dark green Gem started to do a Diamond salute, but stopped short. “Sorry, old habits die hard. I was a ship captain, but it seems like there’s no need for a military any more.”

“What are your interests?” said Amethyst.

“Well, since Steven healed me, I’ve been spending a lot of time working on my drawing and writing. It helps me…” She scowled, troubled. “It helps me process. Everything.”

“Drawing, huh?” said Amethyst. “What would you say is your ideal relationship?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never been in a relationship before! I had my crew to care about, but that’s not at all the same thing.” She seemed a bit at a loss. “I guess, if it came down to it, I’d like to have someone to protect.”

Peridot was nearly vibrating with excitement. “Amethyst! She likes drawing, and wants someone to protect! This is perfect!”

“You think so?” said Amethyst. “Kind of an odd couple, doncha think?”

“That’s what makes it so romantic!” Peridot turned to Nephrite. “Have you met Blue Pearl?”

“Blue Pearl? Yes, I see her all the time in art classes. Are you saying…?” Nephrite blushed slightly. “Don’t you think I’m a little rough and tumble for someone like that?”

“Well, opposites do attract sometimes,” said Amethyst. “She’s looking for someone to take her on an adventure and keep her safe.”

“That’s very… sweet,” said Nephrite. “Do you really think…?”

“You’ll never know unless you try!” said Peridot. “How about it? Should we set you up on a Date Night drawing and adventure excursion?”

“I don’t know…”

“Aw, c’mon, what’s stoppin’ ya?” said Amethyst. “You don’t like Blue Pearl? Because that’s fine, we’ve got other Gems--”

“That’s not it,” said Nephrite, shaking her head. “Sorry, this whole date thing may have been a mistake. I’m going to go now.”

“What? No!” said Amethyst. “C’mon, just tell us what’s on your mind. We’re here to listen.”

“It’s just…” Nephrite searched for the words. “Gems like me, who were in the war… it still feels like yesterday, sometimes. It always feels a little weird to… you know. Spend your time drawing, going on dates, like none of it ever happened. I’m probably not making any sense,” she finished, frustrated.

“No, I think I get it,” said Amethyst. “I wasn’t in the war, but I work with Gems who do all day. Gems who can’t forget the things they’ve seen. I know that must be hard. But like… I also know you, y’know? I remember how confused you were at first, and now you’re doing amazing art! I think you deserve something nice for yourself, even if maybe you don’t think so. And it doesn’t have to be a date, but, y’know, it  _ could _ be. If that’s what you want.”

“You really think that?”

“I do,” said Amethyst.

“I guess… I do want that. Or at least I’d like to try.”

“It’s settled, then!” said Peridot. She held up her hand to Amethyst for a high five. “First successful match made!”

“They haven’t been on the date,” said Amethyst, leaving her hanging. “Little early to call it a success.”

“I believe in them!” Peridot grinned at Nephrite, who gave her an uncertain thumbs up.

* * *

“Name and occupation?”

“Everyone calls me Little Larimar. I give out the prizes to children at Funland!”

“What are your interests?”

“I love to hear the human screams!”

Peridot fiddled with her pen. “Have you ever considered branching out from the screams thing?”

“Wait, wait, P-dot, I got this,” said Amethyst. “How do you feel about fusing with a Ruby?”

“What?!” said Peridot.

“A Ruby, you say?” said Larimar. “That’s a very interesting prospect.”

“Seriously, Ams?”

“The Ruby wants a Sapphire, right?” said Amethyst. “Larimar here is small and blue. Basically the same thing! Besides, I bet they’d make a really cool fusion. Heh. Cool. Get it? Because Larimar controls ice?”

Peridot face-palmed. “You’re taking responsibility for this one if we end up with a fusion that harvests human screams.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Amethyst. “So how ‘bout it, Lar? Date with a Ruby?”

“That sounds delightful!” said Larimar, clapping her hands together.

“See, it’s gonna be fine!”

Peridot just shook her head.

* * *

“Come in!” said Peridot, in response to a quiet knock on the door.

Pearl walked in the office, scrolling through something on a tablet. “I need to talk to you about the next diplo--” She looked around in confusion.

“Hey, P!” said Amethyst. “Looking for a date for Date Night? You’ve come to the right place!”

“I -- no. I needed to talk to Zircon about some of her work for an upcoming diplomatic meeting. Isn’t this her office?”

“We’re borrowing it for an important mission!”

“A mission to hook up all the Gems in Little Homeworld!”

“Zircs is probably in my lair if you really need to talk to her, though.”

“Oh.” Pearl made a face of utter disgust. She had been in Peridot’s underground lair exactly once and had lasted less than thirty seconds before declaring it “somehow worse than Amethyst’s room” and fleeing in horror. “This can probably wait.”

“Awesome!” said Amethyst. “That means you have time to fill out our dating profile!”

“I already have a date for Date Night,” said Pearl.

“Really?! Who?” Amethyst practically launched herself over the desk.

"It’s private,” said Pearl. “Besides, if I tell you two, every Gem in the galaxy will know.”

“That’s what Bis said,” said Peridot.

Pearl’s eyebrow shot up ever so slightly. Peridot’s eyebrows shot up in response.

“Well, if you don’t want a date, maybe you can help out anyway!” said Peridot. “We need a date for Amethyst!”

“We do not,” said Amethyst, blushing.

“You know a lot of Gems. You know anyone who might be interested?”

Pearl laughed. “Only half of Little Homeworld.”

“WHAT?!” Amethyst shrieked.

“Did you really not know that?” said Pearl. “Why do you think your classes are so popular? I mean, also because you’re doing a great job teaching, of course!”

“That’s not surprising,” said Peridot. “Amethyst is definitely what they call ‘a catch.’”

Amethyst was mortified. “Peri, don’t ever say that again. Pearl, are you serious?”

“Oh, yes! You should have no trouble finding a date if you ask around. Anyway, I have a lot to get done today,” said Pearl, heading out the door. “Have fun with your little dating service!”

“Yeah,” said Peridot, absently, pulling out her phone and sending a text, as Amethyst slumped back into her seat, shocked.

**PERI5XG:** IS IT PEARL

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Is who Pearl?

**PERI5XG:** BIS’ DATE, IS IT PEARL

**CourtLawyerZircon:** I am not at liberty to confirm nor deny these allegations.

**PERI5XG:** UGGGGGH ZIRCS YOU’RE THE WORST

**CourtLawyerZircon:** So you’ve often reminded me.

**PERI5XG:** ALSO PEARL WAS LOOKING FOR YOU

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Oh, yes, I think I know what that’s about. I’ll catch up with her later. Thanks.

**PERI5XG:** DID YOU FIND OUT WHAT LAPIS WANTS FOR DATE NIGHT

**CourtLawyerZircon:** I did not.

**PERI5XG:** WHY NOT

**CourtLawyerZircon:** I’m busy.

**PERI5XG:** DOING WHAT

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Talking to Lapis, mostly about you.

**PERI5XG:** APDAJDIOSPFIODPJIJDSFPODSIJPOD

**PERI5XG:** YOU’RE GOING TO BE SORRY WHEN I SET YOU UP ON THE BEST DATE EVER

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Your plan is to punish me by sending me on an ideal date?

**PERI5XG:** YOU’D BE DISTRACTED FROM YOUR WORK! YOU MIGHT EVEN MELLOW OUT SOME!

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Hm. That actually is somewhat threatening when you put it that way.

“I can’t believe there are Gems into me, and I never even noticed,” said Amethyst.

“You’ve been too busy with all your Little Homeschool stuff,” said Peridot. “Looks like it’s up to me to get my friends squared away.”

There was a knock at the door. “Come on in!” said Amethyst.

A weary-looking Steven opened the door, flashing them a pale smile. “Hey, guys.”

“Steven!” said Peridot, dropping her phone.

“Hey, Steven!” said Amethyst. “Whatcha doing here?”

“You’re doing relationship advice, right?”

Both Gems nodded.

“I’d like to do something special for Connie for Date Night. She kind of deserves it after… everything. But I have no idea what!”

“You know, Connie’s going to like anything you do for her,” Amethyst began.

“I know that!” said Steven, frustrated. “That’s not the problem.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know… I don’t know what  _ I _ want,” said Steven. “I keep thinking of things we could do, like go out to the movies or to a restaurant, and I just feel… nothing.”

Peridot and Amethyst shot each other worried glances.

“I’m worried I’ll take her out somewhere nice, but I won’t really be feeling it, and I’ll just be going through the motions. She always picks up on it when I do that. I just want her to have a good time for a change.” Steven picked at a thread on the couch cushion. “I used to love doing these things with her. I don’t understand why I can’t just enjoy myself.”

“Have you tried talking to her about this?” said Amethyst.

Steven laughed bitterly. “No. What am I going to say? ‘Connie, I don’t have fun with you anymore?’ That’s terrible.”

“You wouldn’t say it like that!” said Amethyst. “But you gotta be honest with her. You already said she picks up on it when you’re not having fun. Don’t you think she needs to know why?”

“Maybe,” said Steven. “I just wish -- I wish things were simple, like they used to be. We could just hang out for hours doing nothing much, and it was great. Now we’re both busy all the time. She’s got all her college stuff, and…” He trailed off. “I’m happy for her! Really! She deserves to go to a great college! And I know we’ll still be able to see each other with warp pads and stuff. Just… I don’t even know. I’m sorry.”

Amethyst suddenly emerged from behind the desk and engulfed Steven in a tight hug. 

“Amethyst, I’m okay, you don’t need to--”

“Yes, I do!” said Amethyst. “If I wanna hug my best bud, I’m gonna do it, okay?” She let Steven go and sat next to him on the couch. “Look, dude, Connie cares about you a lot. I know she does. And I don’t think all this change has been easy on her, either.”

Steven shook her head. “She’s been doing great, though. I don’t even know how she manages all those tests and college applications, but she acts like it’s nothing.”

“See, this is why you guys really need to talk. I don’t think she’s dealing with everything as great as you think. Just try being honest with her, okay? She deserves that much, right?”

Steven nodded. “Maybe you’re right. But it’s hard. It’s not really a conversation I wanna have.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you. No one wants to have a conversation like that. You do it because  _ not _ talking about things is worse, right?”

“I’ll… think about it. Thanks, Amethyst.”

“You know that no matter how much things change, I’ll always be here for you, right, Steven?”

“Me too!” said Peridot. “I’m gonna be your friend whether you like it or not!”

Steven laughed. “I know. Thanks, guys.”

“Shorty Squad forever!” Amethyst said, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

“I’m not really that short any more.”

Peridot shook her head. “You’re not getting out of Shorty Squad that easily! You’re retroactively part of the Shorty Squad for life.”

“What if I get even taller?”

“We’ll just have to be Mostly Shorty Squad,” said Peridot. “We’ll adapt.”

“I guess we will,” said Steven.

* * *

“Holly Blue?!” said Amethyst.

“Ugh, you’re that defective Amethyst. I should have guessed,” said Holly Blue. “You had better not tell anyone I’m here.”

“You know her?” asked Peridot.

“Yeah, she used to run the human zoo.”

“I am still technically in charge of the human zoo!” Holly protested. 

“Yeah, sure,” said Amethyst. “Are you actually looking for a date for Date Night?”

Holly groaned. “Everybody on the ship is preparing for Date Night. There are public displays of affection everywhere. It’s absolutely insufferable! I even caught a Gem doing… things… with a human in the ship’s cockpit. Right on top of the controls!”

Amethyst laughed. “Sounds like a good time to me!”

“I had to get away. I thought maybe this would be a good excuse.” She scowled. “This is an incredibly ill-advised endeavour.”

“That’s what we’re here for!” said Peridot. “One incredibly ill-advised endeavour or your money back!”

“Money?” asked Holly.

“Yeah, you’re not actually paying us any money,” said Amethyst. “That’s why we can make that promise.”

Holly crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Name and occupation?”

“Holly Blue Agate, Facet-18 Cut-8UU, and I am  _ in charge _ of the human zoo.” She looked at Peridot as though she were daring the little Gem to contradict her, not realizing that Peridot didn’t actually care.

“What are your interests?” asked Amethyst.

“I’m interested in order,” said Holly, wistfully. “The old days, where I would take orders from the Diamonds and shout at lazy Amethysts like you.”

Amethyst’s eyes narrowed. “And what’s your ideal relationship?”

“I want someone who really understands me,” said Holly. “Someone I can talk to about the Era 2 days and forget all my troubles for a while.”

Amethyst smiled mischievously. “I’ve got just the Gem.” She quickly scribbled something down on a piece of paper and handed it to Holly.

Holly read the note. “Is this a trick?”

Amethyst shrugged. “Yeah, but you’re curious, so you’re gonna do it anyway.”

“I should have known better than to come here,” said Holly, shoving the note into her Gem. 

“Yeah, probably!” said Amethyst. “Have a good time with your date!”

* * *

The door opened without warning. “Hey,” said Lapis, immediately depositing herself on the couch.

“Hey, Lapis!” said Amethyst. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty good.”

“Did you just come to say hi?” asked Peridot, vaguely uncomfortable.

“Nah. I came because I’m having a relationship problem.” She smirked at Peridot. “You’re giving advice, right?”

Peridot blushed. “Uh…”

“I gotcha,” said Amethyst. “I’m good at this stuff.”

“Cool,” said Lapis. “So I’ve got this girlfriend who’s really pretty great, and I want to do something nice for her for Date Night.”

Peridot’s blush deepened. “Lapis…”

“Yeah, makes sense,” said Amethyst. “Have you tried asking her what she wants to do?”

“I did,” said Lapis. “But she totally just ignored me. It’s like she’s so focused on coming up with something nice for  _ me _ that she can’t even think about something nice for  _ her.” _

“Yeah, that sounds frustrating,” said Amethyst. “It must be hard to date a Gem who doesn’t listen.”

“Hey!”

“Sometimes, yeah. Good thing she’s cute.” Lapis grinned as Peridot’s mouth opened and closed uselessly. “So, how about it, Peri? What do  _ you _ think we should do for Date Night?”

“I think--” said Peridot, about to finish with “whatever you want.” Lapis was right, though. She had only been thinking of things Lapis might want, and hadn’t even considered what she might like. “You know what I think would be fun? If we flew somewhere really remote, and just… hung out there for a while, far away from everything. No responsibilities, no texts, no maintenance tickets, just the two of us. What do you think?”

“I think that sounds amazing,” said Lapis. “I think I know exactly the place, too. Meet me in a few hours?”

“Yeah!” said Peridot, eagerly.

“You guys are such dips,” said Amethyst, grinning. “You should hear how she talks about you when you’re not around.”

“Oh, really?” said Lapis, smiling mischievously.

“Ams!” Peridot was alarmed. “You can’t tell her that!”

“Can and did, P-dot,” said Amethyst. “If you’re going to be disgustingly mushy, your girlfriend has a right to know.”

“I agree,” said Lapis, “This is critical information.”

“Don’t you have a date to get ready for or something?” said Peridot.

Lapis laughed. “Yeah, I guess. See you later?”

“Yeah,” said Peridot, watching her go.

“Doooooooork~” teased Amethyst.

“Shut up!” said Peridot, face burning blue. 

“You are so hopeless for her,” said Amethyst. “I bet you’re glad you got the whole Date Night thing worked out.”

“Yeah, that’s a relief. I didn’t even need Zircs to talk to Lapis -- wait.”

Peridot pulled her phone out.

**PERI5XG:** SO LAPIS WAS JUST HERE

**CourtLawyerZircon:** You’re welcome.

**PERI5XG:** I KNEW IT

**PERI5XG:** I OWE YOU ONE

**PERI5XG:** GOOD THING I ALREADY HAVE A REWARD IN MIND

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Is the reward the exact same thing you were using as a threat earlier?

**PERI5XG:** YES

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Of course it is.

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Well, I’ll look forward to and dread it.

**PERI5XG:** YOU BETTER

* * *

  
“Name and occupation?” 

“I’m a Stone Canyon Jasper. You just call me Stony. I used to be a soldier, but I recently got a job on a human construction crew.” Stony grinned at Amethyst. “You helped me get that job, remember?”

“Oh, yeah!” Recognition dawned on Amethyst’s face. “I remember you. How’s the job going?”

“It’s been good! I wasn’t sure what humans would be like, but they’ve all been real cool. It’s good work, too. Fresh air, manual labor.”

“That’s really great,” said Amethyst. “So, what are your interests?”

“Heh, guess I like sleeping,” Stony said. “That’s real boring, huh? I’d like to travel a lot more, maybe when I get some time off work. There’s a lot here on Earth to see. I think forests are neat, I’d like to see more of those.”

“Sleeping… and traveling,” Amethyst wrote down. “Cool. What’s your ideal relationship?”

“That’s a good question. Guess I never thought about those things much before I got here. I’d say… someone pretty laid back, that I can just kind of hang out and have fun with. I guess I’d say I’m open to just about anything, though. That’s kind of why I came to Earth, for something new, you know?”

“Amethyst!” Peridot jumped up and slammed her palms on the desk.

“Huh?” Stony was confused.

“You should date Amethyst! You’re perfect!”

“Peri, no!” said Amethyst. “Sorry, she’s been trying to set me up with someone all day.”

“Really? Gem like you doesn’t have a girlfriend already? I’m surprised.”

“Well, Amethyst here is a total ‘catch’,” said Peridot, complete with air quotes.

“I thought you weren’t going to say that any more!”

“She’s cool, and funny, and a great friend,  _ and _ she’s a particularly attractive shade of purple, too.”

“Peridot, I’m going to kill you.”

“And she doesn’t kill me even though sometimes I probably deserve it!” Peridot finished up.

Stony threw her head back laughing. “With that kind of endorsement, how can I resist?”

“I’m really sorry about this,” said Amethyst.

“Don’t be. I mean, if you’re free, and interested, I’d be happy to show you a good time. You  _ are _ an attractive shade of purple, just like your friend says.” 

“I -- really?”

“Sure! If you don’t want to, that’s cool too. No pressure.”

Amethyst blinked slowly, then her face broke out into an enormous smile. “Yeah, all right! It’s a date, then! Meet me in front of Little Homeschool 6pm tomorrow, okay? That’s when I finish up classes.”

“Sounds good!” said Stony. “See you then.”

Peridot was shaking with glee as Stony headed out the door. “You have a girlfriend!” she screamed, hugging Amethyst.

“I have a date! One date! Not a girlfriend. Yet,” said Amethyst. “Also, you’re lucky that worked out, because I really was going to have to kill you.”

“But you won’t, because I got you a date, and  _ I’m the best!” _ said Peridot.

“Don’t get too full of yourself, P-dot,” Amethyst laughed. 

* * *

Connie straightened her hair and her dress. She was carrying her violin case. She knocked lightly on the screen door of the beach house. “Steven!” she called.

Steven appeared a second later, dressed in his usual clothes. He was carrying a mason jar full of sunflowers. “Hi, Connie. Happy Date Night!”

“Happy Date Night!” she said, stepping into the house.

“These are for you,” he said, handing her the sunflowers. “But, uh, I guess they’re kind of hard to carry, so you can put them down anywhere. I grew them myself!”

“They’re beautiful, Steven.”

“You brought your violin?” he said, confused.

“I was thinking that we hadn’t jammed out for a long time,” said Connie. “It might be nice, if you want to! If you don’t, that’s okay too.”

“Oh!” said Steven. “That does sound fun, but…” He let out a long breath. “I’m sorry. I know it’s Date Night and all, but I feel like we have some stuff we should be talking about.”

“Oh.” Connie’s face fell. “I kind of figured there was something going on.”

“It’s not about you!” Steven quickly tried to clarify. “It’s about me, I think. But it involves you, because I really care about you and don’t want to hurt you.”

“Steven,” she said, putting the jar of sunflowers down on the kitchen island and taking one of his hands. “I really care about you too. Anything you want to tell me about, you can. Even if it hurts. I mean it.”

Steven nodded, tears forming in his eyes. A second later, he had pulled her into a hug and was quietly crying against her shoulder.

“We’ll get through this together, okay?” said Connie, rubbing his back.

“Together,” he said, voice muffled.

* * *

Amethyst had lived for thousands of years and had never actually been on a date, a fact she was now acutely aware of as she stood outside of Little Homeschool. She had pulled her hair into the cute ponytail she liked when she was trying to look particularly nice, which was not often. She had considered and discarded a bouquet of flowers, deciding that that was probably too much for a casual date.

A casual date was all this is, right? She could definitely handle that.

The last couple of years had been good to Amethyst. She had finally found something she was truly good at and a place where she finally felt she belonged. She was surrounded by friends and had a family, too. She hadn’t ever had a romantic relationship, though, and so the little voice inside that liked to tell her about what she did and didn’t deserve was much louder than it had been lately. 

_ The little voice is stupid. I’ve been working my butt off and of course I deserve a fun time. _

She looked around, trying not to let her nerves get to her. Maybe Stony would change her mind and not even show up.

She saw a red and blue fusion that looked a bit like Rhodonite, but not, literally cartwheeling through the square. Amethyst had never seen that fusion before, but she looked extremely happy. It took her a minute to realize that it had to be Little Larimar and that Ruby she had set her up with yesterday. Amethyst laughed. At least their dating service had had  _ one _ success.

“Hey.”

Amethyst nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you!” Stone Canyon Jasper had creamy white skin with sunny yellow blotches, and the gem on her shoulder was shining brilliantly in the warm sunset. “I’m not late, am I?”

“No, definitely not,” said Amethyst. “You look nice!”

_ She looks exactly the same as she did yesterday. Was that a stupid thing to say? _

“Thanks! So do you. Love what you’ve done with your hair.” 

Stony was smiling brightly. She wasn’t exactly what Amethyst had envisioned when she imagined having a girlfriend, but she really was very cute.

In a world where thousands of years of fascist tyranny had been overthrown by a Gem-human hybrid, was it really so crazy for Amethyst to think that maybe she could find love?

“So, not to put you on the spot, but I haven’t been on Earth all that long, and I was kind of hoping you’d have an idea for what to do on a date.”

“Wanna just go walk on the beach for a while? Get to know each other? Maybe decide what to do after that?” Amethyst looked up at her date hopefully.

“That sounds good! Y’know, they didn’t have oceans on the colony where I spent most of my life, so I’m still kinda getting used to them. All that water. It’s a lot of water.” Stony rubbed the back of her head with her hand. “Sorry, I’m just kinda rambling. I’ve never actually been on a date before.”

“Neither have I.” Amethyst felt relieved and a little silly. Of course this Gem that was relatively new to Earth had probably never been on a date either.

“Really?”

“Nope,” said Amethyst. “Guess we just have to figure it out, then!”

“Sounds like fun to me!” Stony held out her hand.

Amethyst took it. It felt sun-warmed. Maybe this was a good idea after all.

This date going well might actually be worth having to tell Peridot that she was right.

* * *

Holly Blue Agate was attempting to follow the instructions on the piece of paper Amethyst had given her, despite every molecule in her being informing her that it was a bad idea. She couldn’t  _ believe _ she was on this degenerate planet, surrounded by disgusting organics everywhere she looked. Somehow, this patch of Earth had even more of them than Little Homeworld did. Lazy Earth Gems, who hadn’t even properly cleared out their immediate surroundings.

She came to a clearing with no organics whatsoever, just as the note had said. She was surprised, as she had expected the note to be a total waste of time. “Hello?” she called out.

“Who’s there?!” An absolutely enormous Jasper soldier emerged from behind a rock. She was perfect in every aspect, a flawless example of a Gem. Holly felt a bit weak in the knees.

“I…” she started, unable to contain her awe. “I was sent here by… I was sent here. I was informed that there would be a Gem here who loves to talk about how much better things were in Era 2. Are you that Gem?”

Jasper’s eyes narrowed. “Steven put you up to this, didn’t he?”

“Steven? No. Steven had nothing to do with it.”

Jasper looked Holly Blue up and down, considering. “Nope. Leave.”

“Yes, my Jasper!” she said, performing a hasty Diamond salute. “I mean-- I’m technically above you--” 

Jasper shot her a death glare.

“Leaving now. Good-bye!”

* * *

Zircon was so engrossed in the complicated reports she was reviewing for next week’s diplomatic meeting that the knock on the door caused her to yelp in surprise. “Come on in!” she said.

She was absolutely not expecting a prosecutor to walk into her office. Specifically, it was 9RM, the prosecutor who had opposed her in a recent, very drawn out case having to do with Kindergarten safety laws. She was pretty sure she had driven her friends crazy by complaining about this case non-stop, and a large part of that had been 9RM’s fault. She really knew her stuff, and had forced Zircon to put an outrageous amount of thought and research into winning her case.

She wasn’t  _ quite _ the last Gem that Zircon wanted to see, but she was close to it. Still, professional courtesy demanded that she at least attempted to be pleasant.

“Hello, 6GN,” said 9RM. “I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

“Hello, 9RM. A bad time for what, exactly? I’m guessing something to do with the last case we worked on?”

“No, actually…” 9RM pulled up a screen. “It’s about a new case. A Peridot filed it just this morning. Something about a defense attorney who really needs a break from work.”

Zircon felt the color draining from her face. “Oh, stars. I’m really sorry about this. My misguided friend thinks she’s doing me a favor. I’ll tell her that this was extremely unprofessional, and it won’t happen again.”

9RM shrugged. “Is it really all that unprofessional? Seems like we both could use some fun.”

This was not how Zircon would have expected this conversation to go. “...what?”

9RM was leaning over the desk, surprisingly close. “I’m just saying. I don’t expect your friend knew this, but I’m  _ very good _ at getting the defense to let their guard down.”

There was a soft  _ whooshing _ noise as Zircon’s mind left her body.

_ Say something smart. Say you’re not interested. Or say you are interested. Just pick something and say it! _ “Um. Uh. I… uh,” stammered Zircon.  _ Great job! Why are you so useless? _

9RM laughed. “Wow. You put up such a fight in court, I would  _ not  _ have expected you to be this easy to render non-verbal. I’m not sure whether that’s disappointing, or even more fun.”

“I’m not...” said Zircon. She could feel her face burning hot. She was  _ absolutely _ going to kill Peridot.

“Anyway, you never answered me when I asked if this was a bad time. If you’re busy, I can just leave.”

_ Bad idea. This was a bad idea. _ “Yes, I’m… really busy with…”  _ Bad idea. Bad idea! _ “...nothing.” She shook her head. “I’m not actually busy at all right now.”

The smile on 9RM was insufferably smug. “Good. That’s what I thought.”

* * *

“I think they’re probably onto us,” said Pearl. “Peridot was  _ raising her eyebrows _ at me. You know if Peridot’s noticed, a lot of more perceptive Gems probably also have.”

“Eh, they were always gonna find out eventually,” said Bismuth. “I just wanted to exist for a while without a bunch of gossip, you know?”

“It has been nice,” Pearl agreed, leaning back against Bismuth and looking out across the ocean. They had chosen a scenic spot just far enough out of Beach City that it was unlikely anyone would see them. “They’re all going to be awfully disappointed to find out you’re taken.”

Bismuth laughed. “Me? How about you? You’re the one with a dozen numbers from humans.”

“It isn’t an entire dozen,” said Pearl, smiling devilishly. “I just can’t see myself with a human long-term. Humans can be nice, but they’re so… human.”

“Well, I definitely thought you’d never look my way,” said Bismuth. “Back then, you always seemed so untouchable.”

“Because of Rose.”

“Sorry, shouldn’t have brought that up.”

“It’s fine. You’re right. I was so devoted to Rose, I never would have considered anyone else.”

“I get it. I was devoted to Rose, too.”

Bismuth had been with a number of Gems back in the days of Rose’s Rebellion. She had seen a few of those same Gems shattered -- good Gems, Gems she loved, Gems that could have easily been poofed and taken prisoner instead if the Homeworld armies hadn’t been so cruel. After a while, she swore off forming romantic attachments. They were too painful on the battlefield.

She’d always had a bit of a soft spot for Pearl though -- Pearl, the fragile, delicate accessory who transformed herself into a fearsome soldier. Pearl, who inspired them by declaring she belonged to no one, even though they all knew she belonged to Rose. That didn’t matter, because they all belonged to Rose.

Now, Rose was gone forever, but they still had each other.

“Would you fuse with me?” asked Bismuth. 

Pearl’s face lit up. “It’s been so long…”

“It has.” Their fusion had been a terrifying force on the battlefield, strength and power married to precision and grace. Their fusion had never known anything outside of fighting, had never had the chance to sit and watch a peaceful sunset over the ocean.

The former soldiers danced in the cool winter air, and formed someone that was both very old and very new.

* * *

“Seems like your dating service went pretty well, then,” said Lapis. She was flying high over the ocean with Peridot on her back.

“Yeah, I think so! I don’t think any Gems are going to try to hunt me down and kill me, anyway.”

“That’s better than I expected, then.” Lapis laughed.

“I got a date for Amethyst. I hope it works out, because she really deserves it. I got a date for Zircs. Sort of. She’ll probably actually threaten to kill me, but she won’t mean it. I never figured out who Bis was dating.”

“Pearl,” said Lapis.

“What? I knew it! How’d you find that out?”

“It was just obvious.”

“Huh.” Peridot was having a hard time imagining the two together. “I’m worried about Steven and Connie, though.”

“I know,” said Lapis. “But there’s probably not much any of us can do. They really just need to work things out themselves, right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” said Peridot, not satisfied with that answer.

“I think it’s really sweet how much you care about everyone.”

Peridot blushed. “I just want everyone to be happy, Lapis! It’s kind of my duty, you know, as Chief Technician.”

“It’s the Chief Technician’s job to get dates for everyone in Little Homeworld? That’s a new one.”

“Gems are a critical part of the city’s machinery! I have to ensure that they’re all, y’know, running smoothly.” She looked down. “Also, I have all these charts outlining the potential ships among the Gems I know…”

“You can’t just ship Gems like they’re characters on  _ Camp Pining Hearts, _ Peri.”

“Of course not! My  _ Camp Pining Hearts _ ships are all based around the optimal combinations for succeeding at camp challenges. My Crystal Gems shipping chart is designed to maximize total happiness.”

“Interesting. Who am I shipped with on the chart?” Lapis deadpanned.

“Lapis, are you serious?!”

Lapis laughed so hard they dipped out of the sky a bit. “I wish I could’ve seen the look on your face.”

“Hmph,” said Peridot, fake glaring at Lapis even though Lapis couldn’t see her.

Lapis dipped low, coming in for a landing on a tiny island where the sand glittered so brightly it was almost difficult to look at. Tiny, multicolored crabs skittered around on the beach and jewel-toned birds flew overhead. A small grove of palm trees provided a bit of shelter from the sun. All around, the ocean stretched as far as the eye could see.

“This is beautiful!” said Peridot, sliding off of Lapis’s back.

“Is it remote enough for you?” said Lapis. “I found this place a while back and I guess I was kind of waiting for the right time to show you.”

“I love it,” said Peridot. “It’s perfect.”

“Great. Now turn your phone off.”

“What?!” Peridot recoiled in surprise.

“That’s what you said you wanted, right? A remote location with no distractions. Everyone’s out on dates, they’ll be fine without you for a while.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Definitely. You’ve been working so hard trying to get everyone else to take a break and have a good time, don’t you think you deserve a break too?”

“I guess you’re right.” Peridot pulled her phone out of her Gem, switched it off, and put it back in. 

“There,” said Lapis, satisfied. “Now it’s just the two of us.”

Peridot smiled. “A successful Date Night!”

“Peri, it’s only just started.”

“I’m extrapolating from the known data.”

“You are  _ such _ a nerd.”

  
  
  



End file.
